Lessons From the Flight Deck: How Leaders Can Truly Gain Respect and Influence
Lessons From the Flight Deck: How Leaders Can Truly Gain Respect and Influence
In the flight deck, on our worst days, when without notice, the normal becomes an emergency, the most valuable resource is our team. We need them, their knowledge and skills, and all the input they can provide, willingly. This is the key to success, and safe operations. Just how can we do this? It takes more than procedures, manuals and policies. Humans are not machines.
After four decades and 22000 hours of flying experience, training and examining, building teams, I share some keys with you, and how they can help propel us to become the most respected and influential leaders of all. The most important thing? We have to give our crew – our staff – reason to respect and follow us. We can’t force it. They have to want to. And when times are tough, we really need them.
The leader’s road to respect and influence. Humility – Power – Influence – Exceptional leader
1. Humility = Power – as long as it’s genuine
2. Power can equal Influence – as long as the power is used appropriately
3. Influence = exceptional leaders
Achieving this requires Emotional Intelligence. There are countless technical definitions for EI, like this: ‘The ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.’ But…
Key 1: Ask a staff member what Emotional Intelligence is, and the response will be something like:
‘A person gets it’, ‘They get us’, or ‘They get what we want.’
Ask them to go further: ‘They can relate to me’, ‘They show respect for me’.
Respect is now mutual. Staff will work for this leader (above and beyond).
Key 2: A person with EI will display humility
And humility is power. Why? Because when we show humility, people will open up to us. They will talk to us. They know that they are considered important and valued, as is their opinion – and that’s power.
Take it one step further. That person can have something even better than power – and that’s influence.
The difference? The truth is we only have power or authority by virtue of a role or title. We soon find out how good a job we’ve done when we no longer have power – when we leave or retire. If we haven’t treated others well, respected them, they won’t regard us when we pass them in the street. We shouldn’t be surprised. We will have earned that disrespect. If we have conducted ourselves well, we’ll have something much more valuable - influence – and influence is permanent. When we have influence, our team will follow us, speak up and tell us what’s really going on. And we won’t even need a title.
Key 3: If they have influence, they can be an exceptional leader and a huge asset to our organisation.
Emotional intelligence and commercial imperatives are not mutually exclusive. EI pays.
Key 4: So how can we exhibit EI so we can be a respected and influential leader?
Even if we don’t have EI naturally (it can be learned), using the following techniques will still get results.
Try these first:
1. Be in the trenches. There is no substitute.
“Thank you for always having our back’, the words that meant the most to me, written by the most junior of our crew. Make whatever is happening affect you as well. Of course we have to direct, and make executive decisions but we also need to lead from within as much as possible. Be on the front line. Far from lessening our status, our standing will rise immeasurably – as will lifelong respect for you. Shallow
the managerial gradient. Do this and your crew – your staff – will follow you.
2. Ask, don’t tell.
No, we don’t know what’s ‘good for them’, or ‘what they want’. It’s all too tempting to say, ‘I know how you’re feeling. This is what you need to do.’ Just, no. Here’s a real clue: Even if you know the answer, ask your staff, and watch the response. Watch the respect for you escalate.
3. Share the spoils – daily.
Know this. Money and prizes do not build engagement. People may work for bonuses, but it doesn’t mean they’re working for us, or are engaged. Money is extrinsic. Remove the money and we remove the value. If money is required for people to work hard, we have an engagement issue. Do this. If you’re away for some days, share your executive car park around (or similar benefit of yours). Expect nothing in return. Watch the response.
4. Use the ‘paradox’ (my term)
Overtly acknowledge someone else’s right to their view, even if it’s totally unacceptable to you. Remember, we want a result.
Doing so is the first step to them potentially agreeing with you or at least being able to work with you or feel respected enough to try. This can be incredibly hard, but it works, and fast. The really big negotiators flying around the world do this. They want – no, need – a result.
And remember, with intractability, sometimes the answer is there is no answer. The answer is you keep talking. That is the answer.
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